2006-06-05 - 4:49 a.m.
A big bald black man wh oin his gentle voice always introduces himself as "Can I marry you?" A big beautiful house surrounded by forest, hills, and trees. My friends and I discover it and proceed to have fun in it, drink, hang out, I eat a girl out... we're hthere for a long time until we find out the house belonged to a Tom Moriarty, who died. Somehow we found out Thom Yorke was involved, so we went to a nearby school. Wehile Walking there a girl sees rows of little like plastic hamster cages, and in one she sees pet leeckes and talks about how much she loves leeches. To the girl I'm walking next to I make this joke that she should attach one to the end of each finger and carry them around. Inside the school we see a row of cars, or couches. The last one Thom Yorke is sitting on, next to a box set of cd's labelled Radiohead and below that Hero. I say, Radiohead and Thom goes Yes and I say Actually, we're not fans . I sit down on a couch and say, "Let's see, what are some better band than Radiohead? Well, there's deathcab for cutie, blink182, um, Green Day... The couch Thom is sitting on has turned into a bright green car, he looks pissed and mutters, "Dreadful..." and is about to drive off. I laugh and say, "Wait, wait!" and jump in front of the car. We sit down with him, me and some other fan people in like a little caravan tent, and they ask him a bunch of fanboy questions. He's about to leave again and I say, Who was Sir Tom Moriarty?
He stops dead. He tells us a story of when he was young, and he and his vfriends stumbled upon the house. They were orphan friends, you know, little lazy-eyed Thom, a big balk ugly black guy, a Huck Finn type. The house was like a gift, a dream come true, but the corpse of a man was lying in the middle room, just past the entry way, covered in a mouldy blanket with two bloated feet sticking out. Well, the three young kids couldn't deny the place to stay, but neither could they bring themselves to touch the body of the dead man, who was in fact Sir Tom Moriarty himself, the house's previous owner. For years the children lived there with the body on the floor, until it finally drove them mad...
